- KOAN 1: SI TIENES UN BAUZA, TE DOY UN BAUZA, SI NO TIENES UN BAUZA, TE QUITO EL BAUZA
 - STOP PRETENDING, YOU’VE BEEN, LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS ALL WEEK
 - I DON’T ALWAYS RUN FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUES, BUT WHEN I DO…I CHEAT LIKE NICK SIMMONS
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